Sweeney Todd: The Second Chance
by William Milkshakespeare
Summary: Benjamin Barker is given a second chance to fix his mistakes with a deal offered by God. The deal includes everyone he's killed coming back to life. And he can't kill anyone or he will die. This should be interesting.
1. Chapter 1: The Offer

**Sweeney Todd:**

**The Second Chance**

**CHAPTER 1:**

**THE OFFER**

Benjamin Barker had awakened. He was in a white tuxedo with a white tie and coat. He was in heaven. "Why am I here?" Ben said. Obviously if you saw the movie you'd know why he'd question that. All of a sudden a big powerful voice thundered saying, "BENJAMIN BARKER!!!!!!"

Then God appeared to Ben. "Morgan Freeman?" said Ben. "No, Ugh I hate that fricken' Bruce Almighty! They depicted me the best!" said God. "Why am I here?" said Ben "I don't deserve to be here." "No you don't. But I have an offer for you" said God. "Ben, he said as he took Ben's shoulder and walked with him down a cloud, you're a good man, I know, I made you. You've just done some bad things. And I want to give you another chance."

"I will send you back to Earth, all those you've killed shall be brought back to life, and you can stop killing and be the good man I made you to be." "What about the Judge? I can feel my hands squeezing his throat!" Ben said as he gripped the air with his fists. "Man, you really messed up dogg. No wonder you got your neck chopped up by a 12 year old," said God. "Oh by the way, if you murder again, you'll be sent to hell where you'll be forced to watch reruns of The Nanny where you'll have to fast forward and rewind and watch all the parts where Fran Dreschner laughs" said God. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" cried Ben. "All right deal" said Ben. "Have fun Ben, I believe in you" said God. "Bye Morgan Freeman!" said Ben as he fell back to Earth. "It's God darn it!!!" said God.


	2. Chapter 2: Mrs Lovett Returns

**Sweeney Todd:**

**The Second Chance**

**CHAPTER ****2:**

**MRS. LOVETT RETURNS**

**WARNING**

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME BRIEF PROFANITY**

**READER DISCRETION ADVISED**

Benjamin Barker then woke up. He was on Fleet Street. "This place hasn't changed a bit!" said Ben as he walked into Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop.

Inside, Ben saw none other than Mrs. Lovett herself, baking pies. "Mmmm," said Ben, "Smells good in here! Watcha makin'?" Mrs. Lovett then looked up from her table. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Sweeney Todd. Professional jackass!

Ben then made a face. She obviously hadn't forgiven him for throwing her into the fire. "Look Nellie… I," "I don't need to hear you bitch about how sorry you are!" "Look at what you did to me leg" Mrs. Lovett then showed Ben her leg, which looked like an overcooked meatloaf. "Dear God! It's Freddy Krueger's Face!!" said Ben.

"Nellie, I'm sorry I threw you into the fireplace, and betrayed you, and made fun of your pies, and then feed your pies to the dogs in the homeless shelter, which of course killed them. And I'm sorry I called you fat" said Ben. "Do you know how many damn tubs of ice cream I ate after that comment? A lot of tubs, Mr. T, A LOT OF TUBS!!"

Ben then explained to her what happened and the deal he made with God. "I just want to be a better person, you know?" "You mean like Fran Drescher?" Ben then got wide-eyed and gave Mrs. Lovett a cold stare. "Never say her name to my face, EVER!!" "Got it," said a confused Mrs. Lovett.

"By the way," said Lovett, "If you're going to apologize to all your victims, you might want to do it soon." "And why is that?" Ben then looked outside to see all his victims burning a 50 foot statue of himself.

"Oh crap" said Ben.

**TO BE CONTINUED……**


	3. Chapter 3: The I Hate Sweeney Club

**SWEENEY TODD:**

**THE SECOND CHANCE**

**CHAPTER 3:**

**THE I HATE SWEENEY CLUB**

I have decided to make this chapter longer due to popular response. This is also the concluding chapter in the Second Chance saga. Please R&R! I hope this chapter doesn't suck.

Signed,

William Milkshakespeare

This chapter of the story contains strong language.

(Like R-rated language, which is ironic considering Sweeney Todd was rated R.)

READER DISCRETION ADVISED.

Ben was stunned. Actually, he kinda saw this coming but still. Ben then leaned over towards Lovett. "Nellie, what do I do?" "Well it's simple. Go over to those kind gentlemen and tell them you're sorry. They'll understand!"

"BURN HIS MOTHER F-ING FACE OFF!!" said one of the guys burning the Sweeney statue. "Oh yeah and while they proceed to kill me maybe they'll knit me a sweater" said Ben. Ben then took a deep breath and walked slowly over towards the guys. He kept thinking of how much better it was for him when they were dead.

Then all of a sudden Morgan Freeman, uh I mean God appeared next to Ben. "Oh Jesus God!" "Hey watch the language, bitch," said God. "God, I can't apologize to them, half of those guys I murdered for no apparent reason," said Ben. "Look Ben, it's either apologize, which could result in them beating the crap out of you, or you go to Hell with Fran Drescher" said God. God then pulled out a small TV screen that showed Fran sitting on Satan's lap, laughing annoyingly and repeatedly saying, "Oh Mr. Sheffield!!" "Dear mother of God, MAKE IT STOP!!" cried Satan. "If Fran Drescher can make Satan do that." Ben said as he shuddered at the thought. "I'm just gonna go apologize now." "Good idea," said God as he floated up to Heaven.

Ben then took another deep breath and walked up to the guys burning his statue. "Hey boys!" said Ben, "I'm right here. Now I got to apologize!" "So let me start by saying…" "Hey!" said one of the guys, "It's the real one." "GET HIM!!"

Ben then began to scream like a young schoolgirl and ran furiously down the road as the boys chased after him carrying torches and pitchforks. They eventually found him hiding in a fat guy's coat. They then began to beat the crap out of him while tossing garbage on him. Then they dragged him into an abandoned shack.

Ben woke up. He looked down to see that they stole his clothes and tied him up to a chair. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!" shouted Ben as he looked outside to see that his clothes were being burned by 3 schoolboys. "Oh come on!" Then a tall skinny fellow walked up and pointed a straight razor at his neck. "Remember this?" "You killed all of us with this motherfer!" "Now our boss wants to speak with you." The tall guy stepped aside as a tall, white haired man who barred an extremely similar resemblance to the dude who plays Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies walked up to him. It was Judge Turpin.

"Turpin! How's it goin' bro'?" said Ben. Ben was then whacked in the face with a cane. "AH! What the hell man?" "Welcome to the I Hate Sweeney Club. Today we're going to practice neck slitting. On you!" he said as he and the other boys pulled out straight razors. "Now unless you have an excuse for killing us, were going to do the deed. Now do you have an excuse?" Ben then thought about it for a minute and then he looked outside to see none other than Tobias Ragg, now a psycho maniac, chopping off flower heads with a butcher knife. "It was Toby!" "What?" "He made me kill all of you, He said if I didn't he'd kill me and turn ME into a meat pie!" "So we have to stop him not me!" Turpin then turned around to see Toby. "Ben, we apologize for the inconvenience. Now let Ben go so we can kick Toby's ass!"

The men cheered as they untied Ben and all charged out to get Toby. Toby then turned to see 15 pissed off English guys and a naked barber charge toward him. They then picked him up and all ran into the nearest Applebee's. They then knocked down all the stands and people eating to run into the boy's bathroom. Then they held him up, busted down a stall and proceeded to give him a swirley. They cheered as they dunked his head in the toilet and flushed.

40 minutes later, they realized Toby was dead and they all ran out of the Applebee's to hide. But the cops found them. And so did the S.W.A.T. They all arrested Turpin, Ben, and the boys shoved them all in police trucks. And that is the tale of Sweeney Todd's second chance.

**THE END!**


End file.
